The Awakening Process...

Ed: You make it sound like the awakening process continues
even now.

JM: In a way. The awakening part was a very distinct event,
like a nuclear explosion, and occurred for me many years
ago. The post-awakening process taking place since then
is like the protracted effects of radiation poisoning. Your
nose doesn't fall off in the first instant, it stays on for
awhile. You know it's not going to stay on for long so you
enjoy it while you can. You know what's coming, you
know it's inevitable; you don't fear it or seek to avoid it.
On the other hand, you're fond of your nose. I have a
fondness for my nose so maybe I staple it on or use a little
duct tape so I can keep it a little longer.

I'm not making
an argument for this or defending a position, I'm just
sharing my observations of the process. The awakening is
complete, perfect, and irreversible, but no outer representation
can reflect the inner state. At any moment since the
point of awakening I can and have shaken myself like a
wet dog to cast off all the rags of self; the tatters of
costume.

Ed: So you can throw off self and put it back on?

JM: Such as it is. It's in an advanced state of decay and I can't
stop or reverse that, but I can try to squeeze some further
use out of what remains. I suppose I'll be able to fake my
own personhood for as long as I live, but the veneer is
getting pretty thin. Does any of this make sense?

Ed: It's only in interacting with people, with ego, that this is
a problem?

JM: Yes. I have no other reason to slip into character. It's not
really much of a problem, though. Not interacting with
people is no great hardship for me.

Ed: And it's not theoretical, right? You're not speculating,
you're describing your actual experience?

JM: Yes. My experience is that of a non-egoic being who can
wrap himself in a threadbare ego when necessary.

Ed: And you don't see the paradox?

JM: The whole selfless self thing? I'll address this by saying
that the enlightened state is not, as is commonly
supposed, the special state. The unenlightened state is the
magical, mysterious, incomprehensible state. Awake is
just awake. It's not something more, it's everything less.
My state is natural and easy. I carry no baggage. I labor
under no delusion. I don't spend my lifeforce animating a
fictional persona.

All paradox lies with the unawakened
state. The awakened don't have something that the
unawakened are missing, it's the other way around. The
unawakened possess massive structures of false belief.
They create and maintain these vast realms of past,
present and future; of great meaning and importance; of a
deep and wide emotional range;

all woven together out of
sheer nothingness. Something from nothing; that's the
magic, that's the special state. The unawakened state is
the one that requires such ceaseless dedication and devotion
and which seems so fantastically improbable. The
awakened state is nothing compared to that.

Ed: That doesn't sound so good.

JM: I never said it was.

Ed: Are you saying it's not?

JM: No. The lifeforce I'm not using to project a false self is
now available for much more fun and interesting
purposes. It's a whole different universe once all that petty
self crap has been left behind.



from supplemental material at the end of
Spiritually Incorrect Enlightenment
Jed McKenna