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surrender of the personal will...

"Only through the simple process of self-observation can this thing called the
"self" be seen. We may need years of looking at it, seeing why it does what it
does, thinks what it thinks, until we know it well enough to cease to believe in
it. All of our energy, for all of our life, has been poured into this thing: our
personality, the little self, the ego. A few moments of seeing, while of
monumental importance, will not cause its complete demise. This demise is what
we fear most; for it is seen by the thought-pattern we call "us" as death. At
some point, the initial joy of seeing will turn to the pain of ego-death, as the
Truth becomes known. It will not be pleasant. In fact, the pain and horror felt
by the ego as it faces its own death, will be felt as yours." -Bob Fergeson
(TAT, from "Why Don't We Get It?")

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